Social: 3. The use of advantage

Ever since I had gained a moderate amount of fame, I’d had women offering themselves to me. I’m not special; the same thing happens to every man who makes his living in sports, music, television or movies.

So says a love rat – although the term used to derogate an unfaithful husband actually insults the rodent. (The real rat merely follows the inherited code of its species, while cheating is definitely a human characteristic.) Upturns in economic and socio-cultural status appear to bring deceit and dysfunction into relationship equations.

With revelations continually appearing on global social networks, it assumes proportions of an emerging trend in celebrity marriages, especially in the West. Elsewhere, women are yet to be empowered to fight for gender equality.

In truth, the “fame” that biker James (quoted above) basked in was not quite his own achievement, but rather glory reflected off his famous wife. His illicit liaisons made a mockery of their marital union. He writes further:

After all, when you take money out of the equation, what’s the point of being famous besides having your pick of attractive partners? 

 

James is not alone in his proclivities. The Gropegate allegations, and the bombshell of wife and mistress both pregnant at the same time under the same roof reveal the "dark truth" behind the success saga of America's most famous Austrian immigrant. Leigh writes:

… the real Schwarzenegger —  an immoral, arrogantly reckless man with a monstrous  attitude to women and a propensity for having unprotected sex. Schwarzenegger’s rampant womanising has been known to me since 1988, as have his sleazy beginnings in the world of body building, his fondness for sadistic practical jokes, his delight in humiliating women … he often targeted unattractive women because they were more likely to worship him and his muscular physique.

Driven to sexual gratification to prove their own worth, the love rats have few qualms in breaking matrimonial vows, and family values. Men that attain the power of resources tend to assume that being famous puts them beyond the constraints of common social norms. It provides them the licence to unbridled willfulness, reducing the women around them to commodities to be used and abused.

Although gender equality is claimed in the post-feminist era, patriarchal attitudes remain embedded in the social structure. Men count on this organized bias for the tacit understanding that boys will be boys. In France, the cultural view is that affairs of sex are the man’s personal business.  Chrisafis reports:

Nicholas Demorand, editor of the daily Liberation, said his paper would continue to respect politicians' privacy. "It's a democratic principle – hypocritical in some people's eyes, but fundamental ... Ditching this principle would lead to encouraging short-term buzz and trash over quality news."

Despite the faint acknowledgement that “trash” does abound socially, the media defers to power, afraid of being denied access to crucial information. They prefer to focus reporting on more important matters, thus deliberately overlooking the predatory nature of privileged men. 

The French are accused of showing more compassion for Strauss-Kahn than for the alleged victim in the rape case that caused his arrest in New York and also cost him his job as the IMF chief. Some women activists say that had the incident occurred in France, the story may not have surfaced at all.

Politicians strive to grasp the helm of a nation’s leadership and governance. In their speeches, they profess the very highest standards of integrity and ethics, and soundness of judgement. Yet in any country, political heavyweights flouting the same ideals are legion. Their public pronouncements appear to encourage self-control less, and more the assiduous maintenance of a false front.

The wealth and clout of their wives are often pressed into service to defend these public images.  These women, already victims of humiliation, demean themselves further denouncing the charges, perhaps only to preserve the appearance of family in the public spotlight.

The tenacity of investigative journalism has brought to light many of the transgressions over the years. In USA, in the 1980s, Senator Hart had declared his presidential candidature.   Then rumours began to circulate about his philandering on the campaign trail, which he robustly denied.

“Follow me around, I don't care, ” Hart was quoted as saying. “I'm serious. If anybody wants to put a tail on me, go ahead. They'd be very bored. ”

Journalists McGee et al initially had no leads and gave the senator the benefit of doubt. Later they acted on a tip from a woman who said she didn’t want to see another liar elected. Piecing together bits of information about his whereabouts, they discovered his secret hideaway. The journalists conducted round-the-clock surveillance to gather evidence of his feet of clay. In the middle of 1987, they published their scoop. The scandal that broke permanently sank Hart’s presidential aspirations.

A decade after Hart, and, Clinton perjured himself during the trial conducted while he was President.  The crucial evidence of “the dress” eventually demolished his defences, bringing him to the brink of impeachment. One of Clinton’s then harshest critics was Senator Gingrich, a member of the political opposition. The thrice-married Gingrich himself formed relationships with subsequent wives while still married to their predecessor. As a presidential hopeful in 2012 he now admits to have indulged in other flings also.

The men put the most effort into preventing their being outed.  Their advantage of resources and position in the organized hierarchy are used to the hilt to lie, bribe, intimidate, and in the new millennium, to invest in super injunctions to gag their socially unequal mistresses.  

England footballer Giggs had the image of a devoted family man at the time when the sleazy relationships of other players were exposed in the media. His paramour was discreet, and the affair might have remained so too, because she thought they were in love and he genuinely wanted to marry her.

However, his intentions being different, the fear of exposure got to him. He obtained a Court ruling, as he claimed, to forestall possible blackmail.  But in reality, his priority was  self-preservation, as writes Allen:

…to protect his reputation and privacy both personally and professionally. His teammates certainly would not have appreciated the press hovering around the team during workouts. While the legal mandate was in effect it could have helped his team focus and perform well, which gave them a shot at winning the championship. … He was probably also concerned about protecting his sponsorship deal with Reebok and DVD sales for his workout videos.

She was slapped with the order to prevent her ever mentioning him, while no such consideration was accorded her. She could be named and vilified – and indeed it so happened. 

Twitter users, however, refused to be muzzled. On the global platform, many of them were outside the purview of the local Courts.  They took up the challenge to assert rights to freedom of speech in virtual reality. Giggs’ identity was soon splashed across social networks on the Internet.  Hemming, a British parliamentarian then named the player in the House using parliamentary privilege to also bypass the injunction.  He promises that celebrities who have such injunctions face ‘death by a thousand cuts’. 

The drama has sparked power struggles within and between the organized and unorganized social units in UK – the judiciary, the parliament and the global social networks. The social networks have "made the law an ass" and the intrepid tweeters have been threatened legal recourse. Twitter service providers are being pressured to reveal their identities. Parliamentarians insist on their legislative privileges.  Judges, on the other hand, expect laws passed by Parliament to be binding also on its members. 

The question that arises is why, somewhere on their upwardly mobile pathways, men appear to catch the common malady. James gives his reasons for his actions:

Mentally at a loss, desperate for something to make me feel as if I had some freedom, I ran through the list of things I could do to assert my independence. Infidelity, unfortunately, was at the top of the list.

Gringrich explains why in an interview:

There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate…

Excuses for the lack of self-control seek to blame environmental pressures, rather than the individuals concerned. The point is fame and fortune brings into sharp focus the inherent character flaws of the men who so avidly pursue wealth and power. They are motivated by private logic that leads them to believe that thereby - one, they are entitled, and two, they are untouchable.  Perhaps by repeating cheating behaviours they hope to gain a sense of worth, and raise self-esteem enough to convince themselves more than others that they have indeed arrived. 

 References for this post:

1. Allen, Amber. “Imogen Thomas’s Married Lover Finally Exposed – Footballer Ryan Giggs” wakeywakeynews.com.  Wakey Wakey News. com. 12 May 2011.  
2. Bowcott, Owen, and Halliday, Josh. “Twitter users and the courts go to war over footballer’s injunction” guardian.co.uk. The Guardian. 20 May 2011. 
3. Chrisafis, Angelique.“Strauss-Kahn case sparks debate about French media's deference to power” guardian.co.uk. The Guardian. 19 May 2011. 
4. Devlin, Kate. “Giggs sets courts at war with Parliament” heraldscotland.com The Herald. 24 May 2011. 
5. “Gingrich: Working 'too hard' led to affair” upi.com. Newsreport. US News. UPI.com. March. 9, 2011. 
6. James, Jesse. “Tattooed biker Jesse James reveals how fame and his weakness ruined their unlikely love” Newsreport. dailymail.co.uk. Daily Mail. 22nd May 2011. 
7. Leigh, Wendy. “How many more love children are there, Arnie? Schwarzenegger's biographer says the dark truth about the star is still to emerge...” dailymail.co.uk. The Daily Mail. 23rd May 2011. 
8. Linder, Douglas “The Stained Blue Dress that Almost Lost a Presidency” umkc.edu. Famous Trials. Clinton  Trial 1999. Dated 2005. 
9. McGee, Jim; Fiedler, Tom; Savage, James. “THE GARY HART STORY: HOW IT HAPPENED” unc.edu. First published The Miami Herald May 10, 1987.  Reprint undated.