Journey and the Indian housewife

Social learning requires a formal introduction before people can interact with one another. The wait is for somebody to fulfil that role, somebody to set the ball rolling, and if not then not has become usual. A problem arises during travel, in the forced proximity, on a journey, with strangers. People’s focus has become reaching destination, period.  They seem always in a hurry, and the anxiety to get somewhere, turns quickly to impatience. They may push and shove others out of their way in the mad rush to be first to the exits on airplanes, trains and even theatre halls. Enjoyment of the journey itself, and relaxed conversations with others is a rarity.

The frequent fliers I have come across wrap themselves in the protective aura of power and prestige emanating from their organizations. It fortifies them through the many thousands of miles of airplane travel regularly covered in self-imposed silence. In the process, they may earn rewards of free mileage, vacations, and so on. But ask them, and they have no recollection of the thousands of people they might have journeyed alongside. One gentleman tells me he generally pops a couple of pills before he gets to the airport, and once ensconced aboard, sleeps right through the cross-continental flights, shutting off all possibilities of interaction. For shorter distances, being engrossed in the laptop or ipad is enough deterrent to any interaction. 

A far older tradition in certain Tibetan monasteries has been to deliberately rip apart these social boundaries. Before the acolyte formally joins the order, he must know himself. The young men are sent out to face the world with little more than a staff and a begging bowl. The intent is to strip the ego, to experience humility and learn adaptability to changing environments. The given task is to follow the meandering route of a holy river from source to delta, downstream by one bank and back upstream by the other – on foot.  Their return, if or when that is, depends upon the individual survival skills in various social environments.

This practice is, of course, hardly known about or followed amongst people outside the monastery. For the householder, the proposition is frightening. Women of good families, especially, prefer to travel with a group of known faces around them to keep the unknown at bay. Long distance train journeys generally mean more hours of forced companionship with people outside the social circle. If perchance the women are traveling alone, their apprehensions mount. What if I get lost is the plaintive refrain irrespective of age, education or employment. Their social dependence needs assurances ten times over that somebody will see them off at one end and somebody will receive them at the other, and prayers for divine protection en route. Obviously, few perceive any journey as new adventures.

I try to settle in early on the train, to avoid the jostling of late arrivals, and observe the unfolding of new, unique human stories. Many of the people I strike up conversations with, look as if they expect the worst from the encounter. I can almost see the wheels of their minds clicking back to childhood warnings against speaking to strangers. It takes them awhile to return to the present and remember that they actually are adults.

 
A well-dressed lady arrives to take the berth across me on this journey. The several men with her are far too respectful to be family. The boss’s wife, I suspect, accompanied by those lower on the pecking order who have discovered their unwritten duty to ensure her wellbeing - and thence their own. I gather they are Railways employees,  and remember stories told of how wives of senior officials and their entourage behave as royalty on board. Should they have links to political heavyweights their attitudes worsen in reflected glory. Yes indeed, horror stories of some sort of mafia in play. The ladies demand exclusive service from the train staff threatening to get them fired for disobedience. They also harass the other passengers that might protest, with threats of getting them dragged off the train... I wonder what is in store for us!

On this day, the men in attendance struggle with large suitcases while she fiddles with her cellphone. After a while they decide leave the luggage where it is, occupying all the space between the berths. In their overt concern for the lady, co-existence with other passengers seems clean forgotten. I pipe up to remind them of it, whilst feeling it an inauspicious opening to my anticipated encounter! The lady starts up at my interjection, and the men look around in surprise at the sound of strident female tones directed at them. Lucky for me, I guess, that they only try harder to manage the luggage!

With their departure, mission accomplished, the lady busies with the phone speaking with some people, or just waiting for some others to respond. I ask what she does for a living. Nothing, she says with an embarrassed look, just a housewife, as if nobody could possibly be interested in this group of creatures. As she gradually overcomes her inhibitions, she confides that because she is unsure about others’ reaction, she speaks only when spoken to. 

Her story resonates with that of millions of women of this country brought up high on sacrifice, and low on self-esteem. She is married off young to forestall other eventualities, and before she can really find her feet, motherhood is upon her, as is the omnipresence of the mother-in-law.  She strives to be an exceptional homemaker, an accomplished cook and the perfect mother. Her husband’s rising career graph means transfers and late working hours, so she cannot expect adult companionship much of the time. Her children are her treasures, closer to her than to their busy father. While on the way to help one settle house in a new place, she worries about those she leaves behind. All the lives conjoint with hers should run smoothly – let her be the recipient of all their travails. 

The tradition in families is for one generation to groom another to take its place on the hierarchy in the exact same way. The strict tutelage of mothers-in-law put new brides into the same mould that they once occupied in the past. The ritualistic training in customs ensures that women of successive ages, the carrier of the culture, eventually dress alike, look alike, act alike and even think alike in a stream of carbon copies. The sisterhood of sameness is their ordained destiny.  Men in the family adopt a hands-off approach to these traditions of the women’s world, while themselves keeping up with the new technology and so on, of modernity. 

The benefit of the husband’s job  allows this housewife to live in a sprawling suburban bungalow with plenty of space and few neighbours. She gets used to being alone with the children, learns to appreciate Nature, and discovers her green thumb. Gardening becomes a passion, the bonsai technique the speciality she perfects over twenty years. The plants are her personal pride and joy and it will be a wrench to leave many of the little masterpieces behind as has happened before, when they must move away to another new posting as the job demands. 
 

   
Many such women of this country tend to internalize the traditional lack of social esteem for their gender and accept their lot as karma. Nobody in the social organization is concerned with the effect of unsought change on the feminine psyche; the ‘housewife’ is expected only to deliver as others desire. In using the archaic term to describe their life roles, the women devalue themselves, and nobody else thinks twice about doing the same. Because the economic complement is missing in their contributions, they are perceived within the family as no more than glorified domestic labour. Fact is they may be worse off, in unpaid service 24/7, at beck and call of husband, children and extended family with almost no returns of credit or genuine appreciation. 

Although they are the home managers, the enablers of others’ power and prestige, they carry forwards centuries of gender inequality on their back. In this day and age as well, they hide their true worth under bushels of conditioned self-deprecation. A parable relates that the elephant could not be the king of the jungle because their large ears prevented their realizing their own size and strength. The lack of esteem in the Indian housewife similarly blinds her to her own creative potential.

The minute breadwinner

The incessant pounding disturbs my reverie. I glance out to locate the source of the irritant and my gaze is arrested by the little girl dressed in the traditional attire of a parrot-green ghagra (long skirt) in that must once have been gaudily eye-catching. She is perhaps three feet tall, her hair, glistening with oil, slicked back in tight pigtails. She looks barely past the toddler stage, no more than five years old. It seems incongruous that she sports a pair of dark glasses. Her small hands hold a long green-and-red pole twice her height. I suddenly realize she is tightrope walking.

The noise-makers are probably her parents – the man stands by drumming up business with a semblance of rhythm, while the woman squats down on the sidewalk to hammer out her tensions on a couple of metal plates. Beside them in a wicker basket, lies another baby, seemingly quite at home with the bedlam.

They have crossed bamboo poles about ten feet apart on the concrete road and strung a rope between them more or less horizontal to the ground to rig the makeshift prop. Obviously, the question of safety does not cross their minds – there is no helmet, no safety harness to secure the child, and no safety net below to catch her should she fall. She is entirely on her own, on the ‘platform’ raised six or seven feet above. Amidst the traffic speeding by with blaring horns, she focuses on parading back and forth on the rough jute rope that must hurt her bare feet.

With one misstep she could end up with a fractured skull, broken bones, or worse. My thoughts churn in moral outrage. How dare they thus expose the girl-child to danger? The man and woman could work; it was their bounden duty as parents, wasn’t it, to protect their children? Instead, they live off their earnings. The rest of us should not encourage such behaviour by watching; we should all just walk away and force them to change their exploitative habits, I nod to myself.

But then, I do not turn away. Seriously, what chances of survival does a nomadic family really have? As an offshoot of a gypsy tribe or a circus, they are outcasts of mainstream society. With no money, and no home, they are of the faceless millions living below the poverty line. They have no skills other than what they are doing right now, and no hope of steady employment.

Attracted by sight and sound, a small crowd of curious onlookers also gathers. Passersby stop, like me fascinated by the little aerialist. I smile to think how well this totally illiterate family is able to read crowd psychology. The little girl walks to the end of the rope, turns and sits down for a moment on the fork of the bamboos. In high treble she calls out. The man reaches up to hand her two small metal pots.  Placing them on her head, she stands up to resume her walk.

It dawns that she is gradually increasing the degree of difficulty of her act - first the goggles, now the pots. Her balance is perfect as it must be. She gets to the other end and calls again. This time she is handed a pair of bright pink plastic slippers. She wears them, replaces the pots on her head, adjusts her dark glasses, and sets off once more on her promenade.

In spite of me, I am impressed. This family is not begging, nor are they stealing. They put on display what they know, and the children take quickly to that way of life to survive in harsh reality. The parents passing on their craft to their children early, schools them in street-performer roles. Were I in their place, I wonder whether I could so accept reality, discover my worth and live by it.

Certainly they count on their children to shoulder the family burden, but in a country that cannot boast of social security for all its citizens, can we really be judgemental? Would any of us spare more than a cursory glance if the man or the woman were doing the same balancing act? No, not a chance! Hence, when we ourselves have no alternatives to offer for their survival, can we really brand them guilty of the crime of child exploitation?

How is this worse than the hugely popular reality shows on TV, sponsored by big business houses, that force little children to compete against one another in beauty pageants? They learn to be 'stars', to rely on botox, sunbeds and the streetwalker’s strut to get ahead, rather than hone an honest talent. 

The disciplined courage of this minute breadwinner shames us, who take privileges for granted. The little girl scrambles down from her perch, and while the father packs up the props, she and her mother each pick up a plate and hold them out wordlessly. The onlookers willingly drop therein their appreciations for the performance. I confess I do too – the child’s efforts deserve at least a full meal for the family before they move on.

Talent development: The issue of apathy

Summary: [You might view the earlier post "Talent development: Does anybody really care?" before this.] Perhaps a relying on experience and external motivators contributes to apathy. A strong commitment to learning is needed to really develop talent.

Why the apathy towards talent development?

Experience versus change

Many organizational members rely heavily on experience. They expect to know already how to adapt to various situations.

They assume they’re fully competent to execute on all occasions despite the many challenges of environment, cultures and diversity, since they’ve seen it all, been there and done that.

But the rapid changes the world perceives are in –

• Technology
• Demographics
• Regulations
• Economic shift to other markets

Experience can’t be relied on blindly to carry the day, every day, because work is increasingly both ambiguous and limitless.

Neither does effective performances come automatically with race, gender, academic degrees or level in the organization. The truth is we don’t know all the answers, and can’t cope with the unforeseen.

The motivators

Perhaps organizational dependence on external motivators - like money - also contributes to the resistance to change. Its members have learned to value targets, incentives and appraisals for career betterment. Without them they feel lost.

Intrinsic motivation, that is, moving without the external push, depends on our locus of control – the sense of whether we’re responsible for our actions or forces outside of us are. Obviously in the context, this intrinsic drive is attenuated.

With no perceived relationship between anything educational and advancements in power, pay and profits, the collective organizational will to develop talent is weak.

Evaluation of self

Our motives are also guided by our self-concept. This relates to the image of self created and viewed in the mind’s eye.

The person each one of us becomes over time may differ in reality both from that we should be, or have potential for. When the gaps widen between these aspects of self, there is dissonance and discomfort within.

It hurts the self-concept to admit truth. We generally deal with discomfort by refusing to accept the reality that we may in fact require learning, un-learning and re-learning to deal with change. We tend to become defensive to protect our self-concept and bolster our pride - for example, with over-optimism in our evaluations of self.

We rate ourselves higher in strengths, like smarter, more capable, and lower in our weaknesses, like less prone to mistakes, than we do other people.

Commitment to learning

The total organization needs to step away from traditional assumptions of power and influence. New dimensions, like a superior knowledge base, call for new concepts and new strategies to accommodate them.

Members must be open to feedback from the collective, without feeling personally attacked, and becoming angry or otherwise defensive.

It needs a strong commitment to learning, to build interpersonal networks and share knowledge across the system, to shake out of apathy, and to develop talent resources. The longevity of the organization depends on it.

Comments/Opinions, Anyone??

Talent development: Does anybody really care?

Summary: : Researchers harp on the development of people. Fact is the employers want finished products, and employees have learned ‘presenteeism’.

Really, who cares about talent development?

Research conclusions

Researchers feel they do, because they conduct surveys and amass data. What talent management essentially is about, they explain, is developing people in the fold, to help move the business forward.

They conclude that leadership lacks understanding of critical jobs and succession planning, hence is unable to manage their people and get the best out of them.

They recommend that strategies for talent and business managements be aligned… But then they’re outside the system.

Focus is exclusive

In vast majority, it appears, the employers don’t really care. Although many say ‘talent’ is necessary, they do little about developing it throughout the organization.

Focus is usually exclusive in investing time and resources. Only those ‘stars’ slated for top management positions may be groomed for future roles.

Threatened

Every company wants the finished product. Investing resources on developing human capital doesn’t guarantee company loyalty. The fear is ‘talent’ may just be lured away after the elaborate learning process is complete.

So doing anything about indigenous development just isn’t on the radar. Besides, ‘upstarts’ with newfangled ideas might threaten one’s own position.

The silo

Fact is managers often don’t know how to handle the issues of categorizing performance or identifying talents relative to the business.

They’re used to convergent thinking - the silo mentality, in other words. Unchallenged in their little fiefdom, they expect that talent, as and when needed them, will be headhunted from competitors.

The only concern then is whether company image or the package offered is attractive enough to ensnare the catch.

Pretend knowledge

And, it seems that by their socializing, the employees really don’t care either.

Some companies that attempt a generalized improvement of the knowledge base – for example, by introducing online academies to educate the staff - soon find that the opportunity provided largely goes a-begging.

Employees are aware of the competitive market. But owning up to inadequacies may be foolish in the context of organizational survival. So they might simply pretend knowledge instead.

Presenteeism

Besides, upgrade or study anew - even at company expense – may be career ‘suicide’, because the boss could take the action as their genuinely lacking in competence, attempting to be better than superiors, or preparing for a career change.

‘Presenteeism’ is valued. Loyalty to the boss is crucial for a good performance appraisal. Many managers also believe that following their directives is adequate ‘learning on the job’; improving yourself in other ways isn’t appreciated.

No time?

Questions arise:

• Can the company really accommodate a superior knowledge base?
• Are the upper echelons comfortable with 360 degrees feedback as an actual organizational process?
• Are employees really committed to organizational objectives?

Perhaps not, since the singular excuse proffered for the lack of change, is a lack of time because of the work pressures.

Cont’d 2…the issue of apathy

"This is India!"

Summary: Indeed the ‘needs hierarchy’ seems to turn upside down in many third world countries. Self-actualizing clearly doesn’t wait to emerge last.

Lee from California shared some pictures on India she found on the Web. Most Westerners will probably find the images shocking, even scary (“Yikes!” said Burke.)

Contradictions

The bottomline:

This is India. It's where you call when you have a technical problem with your computer.

Ah yes, you need a very strong stomach to deal with the unbelievable contradictions of India’s diversity –

• An economy on the march and no social security,
• Limited infrastructure and a state-of-the-art IT industry,
• Teeming millions below the poverty line, and intellectual excellence in space research.

Creativity

In the picture above, notice the simple bamboo ladder overhead serving as a grid across the alley? I particularly liked the innovative display of a people naturally creative because they make do with almost nothing.

Global entrepreneurs

These are the stark conditions that the people of this nation live and work in.

Yet the entrepreneurial spirit doesn’t flag. Lightning strikes many times, but still they resume connectivity to compete once again in providing problem solutions across the globe.

Indeed the ‘needs hierarchy’ seems to turn upside down in many third world countries, besides incredible India, that are assumed to be developing yet! Their drive to self-actualizing clearly doesn’t await last emergence.

Comments/Opinions, Anyone??