Drives on Kolkata roads

For the past so many months, my focus has been the roads of Kolkata, and driving on them myself. The need to improve spatial orientation was the motivation. What better way to know directions than actually discover the routes to different places myself? Bad idea, said family and friends, no sane person drives in this city. Well, then, I reasoned, since my sanity is so often questioned, perhaps I am indeed appropriately equipped to do so! Moreover, they told me frankly and kindly, an old dog can’t learn new tricks. So of course I felt goaded to try my hand at it! Truth is, the learning has been intense.    

 
In Kolkata, value is on size. The hierarchy on the roads is based on this parameter – from the pedestrian to two-, three-, four-wheelers and so on. Within each category of vehicle then, class matters. A luxury SUV, for example, scores over a small economical car. Yes, big assumes ascendancy, and their association with masculinity is strong. The car model I choose is for a minimal carbon footprint, and to better maneuver the narrow lanes and bylanes of the city, with their problems of parking space. However, it automatically relegates me to the low end of the scale, and raises social expectations of my giving way to those hierarchically superior.

It is common knowledge in this region that women have no affinity for things mechanical. Most believe that they cannot drive because of gender, and men have learnt to patronize them when they do. Women that want to get behind the wheel must expect to be put down or intimidated by the majority on the roads. They must take in stride the standard received wisdom yelled out to them: like, get a driver, or go home and cook, sister-in-law!
 

 

Random males I have encountered around the city, whether casual bystanders or themselves drivers, have presumed this ‘natural’ gender superiority. Many modern husbands are unsupportive of their wives driving, unable, they say, to bear the tension of them being out on the road. Many women in turn, prefer to remain within the bounds of their gilded cages. Those that can drive rarely venture out at peak traffic hours, or to areas unknown, and never drive heavier vehicles. Perhaps all this is to keep away from any public confrontation with men.

I put it down to family traditions being carried forward. It is customary for families to await the coming of sons rather than daughters. The production of an heir makes it easier on the mother. Else, her childbearing days do not end; the husband feels less of a man, and she is blamed for it. Mothers that suffer extreme low self-esteem, are hard on their daughters, but pamper their sons. From early childhood itself, girls are taught to wait on their brothers or any male visitor that happens along. They pick up after the little emperors that grow up expecting right of way and gender deference from all women. But, due to changing times and the disobedience of modern women, wishes are left unfulfilled and anxiety becomes generic.

 

Seems to me that the point is performance anxiety, rather than insanity on Kolkata roads. The women fear being judged in public, and Indian men are stricken with the irrational drive to get there first. The mad rush is to be on and off before anybody else. On trains and airplanes, they will block the aisles simply to prevent others from getting ahead of them. Even in a queue, it is usual to cut in before any woman that happens to be there, as she is unlikely to protest. They must impose, though ask them why and they probably have no answer. 

The same prevails while driving. The men driving bigger cars, taxis, trucks or even passenger buses, are in too much of a hurry getting to destinations they know not where to mind the traffic rules. Cutting past as the lights turn red or before they are green is rife. My car has been bumped and scraped several times just for being in the way. They hit and they run. If unable to escape, they invoke the ineptitude of women as the obvious cause of the accident. The police are seldom around and when they are on hand, they seem too preoccupied to notice or take action against them. The victim must find the nearest police station to report the matter, file a case to fight out in court, and deal with the insurance claims thereafter. In terms of time, money and effort, getting redressal is a Herculean task. Hence, it is futile to argue; the perpetrators get away scot-free, which they count on. 

It is true that driving in Kolkata is dicey. Roads are frequently wide enough for only one lane of cars to pass either way. Often cars parked on the sides have to be negotiated around, whilst being hounded by some impatient tailgater. Initially, it is scary to be on the road, because other vehicles pass so close. They are just inches away - sometimes deliberately, to force the less experienced off track, and women out of this assumed male bastion of roads.

However, as a wise veteran driver told me, everybody is afraid of failure, not just women behind the wheel. Socially at the receiving end, women have traditionally tended forge special bonds with their sons in private. This has been their investment for their future - to dominate their sons’ lives from behind the scenes, backseat driving. 

This behaviour pattern needs to change, and they need to self-actualize with their own abilities. In fact, on these roads, women drivers are forced out of their shells of social inhibition. This is the positive outcome, I experience. One gradually discovers method in the madness, and learns patterns of intent.

 

Women need to realize their adaptability to fluid situations through mastering two-, three- and four-wheelers. They need to get in the driver’s seat, to rely on their strengths of purpose to raise their self-esteem. They need to break the traditional mould and storm the male stronghold as it were, and drive themselves forward rather than be driven backseat. The process would enable them to increase visibility, to step out in numbers to create a stronger, more confident group presence in public.

Why naked and ashamed

Mention ‘modern art’, and many of us might think vaguely of abstract sculptures and paintings that make little sense. Mention ‘erotic art’, and we immediately tune in to expect nude or semi-nude studies. The association of this branch of art with sexuality is strong. In the context of male and female identity development, the imagery could play an important socializing role. However, the focus of the artworks seems to be majorly on the sexual domination of gender instead.

A person’s sexuality would depend on their acceptance of the self, and their coming to terms with feelings and emotions generated in growing up. Knowledge about gender orientations, and acceptance of related social roles and responsibilities are a crucial part of the developmental process. The understanding helps young people become balanced, well-adjusted members of society. Thence, all of creation may be perceived living, breathing works of art. Male and female elements of Nature interact with the environment, secure in their own type of sexuality.

Erotic art imagery exalts nakedness. Nothing wrong with that really, since eroticism relates to arousing or being affected by sexual love or desire. The word originates in Eros, the name of the Greek god of love. Hence, the expression of desire should of course include love. In the present age, however, cynicism has crept in, and love is forgotten. Modernity seems to jump straight into sex instead. 

Erotic art has been made the product of male sexual fantasy. The function of the female form is the sexual service of men. Sculptures and paintings, developed in the West from the nineteenth century onwards, draw attention to the female anatomy thus sexualized.  Women are defined by the 3 b’s – breasts, buttocks, and belly. The artworks build upon the presumption that the modern fertility goddess aches to be touched.

To all intentions, they may as well be mindless and faceless objects. In the essay, Eroticism and Female Imagery in Nineteenth-Century Art, Linda Nochlin writes: 

Whether the erotic object be breast or buttocks, shoes or corsets, a matter of pose or of prototype, the imagery of sexual delight or provocation has always been created about women for men’s enjoyment, by men.

The art seems replete with the subtle derogation of gender. In their imagery, women are props, devoid of individual identity. Consequently, active word associations with them are weak, passive, and sexually available. The exploitation of women within the composition and beyond are just part of the process culture created.

The point of erotic art is ownership – by men, of women. John Berger (quoted in Nochlin's essay) explains the trend that originated in Europe:

She is painted with extreme sensuous emphasis. Yet her sexuality is only superficially manifest in her actions or her own expression … The painting’s sexuality is manifest not in what it shows but in the owner-spectator’s (mine in this case) right to see her naked. Her nakedness is not a function of her sexuality but of the sexuality of those who have access to the picture. In the majority of European nudes there is a close parallel with the passivity which is endemic to prostitution.

Women’s personas are preyed upon, as willing or unwilling actors in the ongoing fantastical narrative of male sexual liberties. Men as a group have the power to enjoy the woman’s innocence, her vulnerability and her inability to protest her plight. Almost in the same vein, women artists themselves are deprecated. They are better known for their external relationships than their intrinsic talent. Naked and ashamed might sum up women’s social subordination in erotic art, and underscore their now characteristic low esteem. 

Nochlin however, appears to blame women rather than men for the situation. She writes:

This is, of course, not the result of some calculated plot on the part of men, but merely a reflection in the realm of art of woman’s lack of her own erotic territory on the map of nineteenth-century reality. Man is not only the subject of all erotic predicates, but the customer for all erotic products as well, and the customer is always right. Controlling both sex ad art, he and his fantasies conditioned the world of erotic imagination as well. Thus there seems to be no conceivable outlet for the expression of women’s viewpoint in nineteenth-century art, even in the realm of pure fantasy.  

No calculated plot? I would beg to differ. Patriarchy has been a social imposition all around the world from an earlier time no longer in memory. Not a bloody revolution, this was a slow, cultural assimilation that wiped off all trace of gender equality. The women's erotic territory that existed, suffered hostile takeover. 

The invasion of the social psyche has been insidious. The organization of community life institutionalized the dominance, and further, conditioned women into becoming the carriers of the culture. The projection of shame has been the most effective weapon to keep them in line and off-balanced, since the days of Eve. Individual men may distance from the perspective, but as a group, they do precious little to fix what, from the male viewpoint, does not seem broken. It is far more expedient to patronize the victim. 

The imagery used carries forward the culture. Which would women viewers identify with - the male perspective, or the low self-esteem? Either way, the patriarchal dominance continues. Women need to find new inspiration, to build a new perspective for the future free of objectification. Perhaps women artists could set a new trend to break the patriarchal stranglehold on their group. Naked is fine in erotic art – as long as the representative women own their sexuality with pride, not in shame, nor in service. 

Reference for this post:

Nochlin, Linda. “Women, Art, and Power and Other Essays”. ISBN 0-06-430183-4 (pbk.) Icon Editions. Westview Press, USA & UK. 1989.

Social: 6. Allure of the zero

Women around the world avidly pursue the glamour quotient, for which thinness is an important criterion.  Many women that obsesses over appearance in terror of being perceived dumpy, suffer extreme health issues. However, society more than the women themselves seems caught with the visual effect, signalling at large that the intellectual quality of the feminine gender is unimportant even today.

 

Ostler writes:

…the fact is that when a woman is feted for her fashion sense, the more pressure she will feel to show off those dresses to their best advantage — which means being super-slim. Fashion doesn’t favour natural curves or, indeed, shapeliness of any kind …

Hounded by the social expectations, style icons seem to ride merry-go-rounds they cannot get off of. Beauty salons cash in on the style craze to offer programmes that recreate their attractive body parts in those women not so favoured. Increases in fashion sense  are generally concommitant with their decreasing body weights.

Women in show-business starve themselves to appear more appealing.  They may not eat most foods because weight gains could result in contract terminations. Hence they must hit the gym regularly, and depend on a diet pills to deaden hunger pangs. Other women do their best to emulate them in looks, dress and lifestyle.

Over the last century or so, romantic novels have encouraged escapism their vast feminine readership. Women begin to identify with their heroines and behave in like manner. The push is to choose romanticism over rationality. Medical journals have recently implicated these literature as causing marital breakdowns, adulterous affairs and unwanted pregnancies. In the conscious or unconscious idealization of men, women may abandon their own moral codes, sexual health and competition at work.

The corporate industry realizes that sex sells. Various billboards and glossy publications bombard consumers with stylized feminine perfection. Their aggressive marketing glamourizes sexuality in product advertisements that may otherwise look mundane. The association with the words hot and sexy for women is that more beautiful, more thin, and more revealing in dress attract more popular attention.

Toys and clothes for children under-10 sexualize gender, like with Lolita beds and playboy logos on t-shirts, creating unrealistic aspirations in impressionable minds.  They are surrounded by the imagery of standards that may be personally unachievable – thin, beautiful, and popular. Thus the body dissatisfaction takes root from childhood.

A young teenager, Milly, for example, was a confident, happy-go-lucky child in her parents’ eyes. She was abducted, and only afterwards did they realize that she in fact, hated herself for her looks and yearned for cosmetic surgery.

Carey reports:

… it now transpires Milly had already had a go at slicing into her wrists with a dinner knife because she’d been teased at school…At the age of just 13, Milly was already counting herself a loser in the popularity and beauty contests of life. For girls today, the two are inextricably linked … looks also determine whether or not you belong.

The youthful feminine gender thence begins to associate popularity with the size zero waistline, and gargantuan breasts – just like Barbie, the stylish, iconic doll. The assumption is that otherwise they must fail in society. And society in the minds of the women probably represents the men they have been brought up to look up to for approval.

Barbie dolls that have been beloved companions for girl children for decades, have now been made multicultural. They however, probably perpetrate the social learning of gender stereotypes. Girl children in cultures around the world learn by association to feel disadvantaged to be growing up different from the hot and sexy ideals.

A life-sized model constructed along the famous doll’s proportions showed how dangerous for women’s health the dimensions are in real life. Abraham writes:

Galia Slayen, who made the model, revealed that a real woman with the same dimensions would weigh just 110lb, giving her a BMI of 16.24 - a figure associated with eating disorders … 'If Barbie were an actual woman, she would be 5ft 9in tall, have a 39in bust, an 18in waist, 33in hips and a size 3 shoe.  She likely would not menstruate... she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions.'

Women further away from the stereotypical ideal tend to become sensitive about appearance. An email sent to the sales team of a company by their manager may say: If you have a FAT FAT face then you do not need to read this. Now, this jibe could be directed at anybody in the organization, but the feminine gender would quickly assume being singled out for indignity. Men also learn to push the buttons of low self-esteem.

Perhaps a part of the preoccupation with appearance stems from the fear of loneliness in later life, since ageing men reputedly prefer trophy wives decades younger. A survey conducted on online dating patterns, showed that the majority of mature women believe that men of their own or older age groups are uninterested in them, because they are no longer svelte.

McVeigh writes:

…eight out of 10 women over 50 think they have become invisible to men. Seven out of 10 women in the study felt overlooked by the fashion industry, while three-quarters of women in their 60s believed they had lost their identity by being labelled as a "mum"… Because of its 'anything is possible', 'sweet-shop' appeal, online dating just encourages men to cherry-pick their ideal – usually younger – mate.

Male suitors on a dating reality show, for example, joked that the bachelorette in question was an ugly duckling, and needed boob fund contributions.  Similar taunts about puppy fat at school drive many young girls into unhealthy lifestyles that continue in later life. Women are not born with body issues, but develop them over time following unrealistic goals of social desirability. 

Anorexia and bulimia are eating disorders commonly associated with them. In both cases, the very thought of putting on weight repels to the extent that life itself becomes a burden. Essentially, the health consequences of these disorders are severe organ failure and death. Anorexics minimize food intake to almost stop eating altogether. Bulimics alternate between bingeing and forced vomiting. They develop because of the women’s inability to confront reality. 

These disease conditions have been linked to female style-consciousness. Fashion institutions have begun to realize the dangers to social health with underweight models. Some retailers are banning marketing excesses in their stores. Some clothes houses also have now started a new trend of healthier models as a campaign against the potentially fatal eating disorders that generally afflict women, including a host of celebrity role-models. 

However, researchers at the University of Bologna, Italy argue that introducing plus sizes as the ideal would tip the balance the other way. In the industrialized nations, the average already is overweight. In changing the policy on thinness, the average eating habits would also reset towards obesity.

On the other hand, health reform advocates say that the issue of concern is not whether people are fat or thin, but the political incorrectness of both media and industry on the subject. The media blitz of corporate advertising that glamourizes unhealthy standards of beauty and sexuality, sets stage for the exploitation of gender. 

I should think women themselves need to develop a stable identity to make responsible choices, resisting the allure of the zero. Fact is women have been swayed by aggressive marketing tactics, forgetting that there is a lot more to them than just their bodies. They have been unable to identify the strong strand of patriarchal beliefs entrenched in social attitudes that accord mere lip service to gender equality. 

Women demean their own intellectual capabilities, basing social approval on visual appearances. Despite modernity, the age-old patterns persist, of submitting to dominance and awaiting rescue. They need to rethink their concepts, because in narrow definitions of belongingness they set themselves up as no more than receptacles of masculine favours. Women need to wake up to the reality that self-esteem depends not on the external world, but on their own identity.

References for this post:

1. Abraham, Tamara “Former anorexic’s life-sized Barbie reveals doll’s dangerous proportions” dailymail.com. Mail Online. 22nd April 2011. 
2. Abraham, Tamara. “'I wanted to be no one, to not be recognised': Allegra Versace on shunning the limelight after battle with anorexia” 7th June 2011. 
3. Carey, Tanith. “The secret self-hatred of confident Milly shows how little we know of our children's inner lives” thedailymail.co.uk. Mail Online.  26th May 2011. 
4. De Rossi, Portia. “Hollywood actress Portia de Rossi on the disorder that drove her to the edge” thedailymail.co.uk. Mail Online.   8th July 2011.  
5. Hickman, Martin. “Retailers ban 'sexy' underwear for children under 12” independent.co.uk.  Home News. The Independent. 6 June 2011. 
6. “'I'm a great catch!': The Bachelorette's Ashley Hebert puts cruel body taunts behind her for bikini shoot”. Daily Mail Reporter thedailymail.co.uk. Mail Online.  23rd June 2011.  
7. McVeigh, Tracy. “Online dating leaves middle-aged women in 'single wilderness'” guardian.co.uk. The Guardian. 10 July 2011.  
8. Ostler, Catherine. “A waist that made Nicole Kidman look dumpy and why Kate      deserves to be more than just a clothes horse” thedailymail.co.uk. Mail Online.  12th July 2011. 
9.  Rawi, Maya. “Vogue uses three plus-size models for cover in bid to 'battle against anorexia'” thedailymail.co.uk. Mail Online.   3^rd  June 2011. 
10. “Sales manager 'put female colleague over his knee and spanked her' A sales manager chased a female colleague around the office before he put her across his knee and spanked her, a tribunal heard.” Retail and consumer news telegraph.co.uk. The Telegraph. 21 Jun 2011. 
11. Singh, Anita. “Mills and Boon 'cause marital breakdown'” telegraph.co.uk. The Telegraph. 07 Jul 2011 
12. Smith-Squire, Alison. “I was a secret bulimic for 15 years” mirror.co.uk. Daily Mirror. 6/07/2011. 
13. Whitelocks, Sadie. “Forget chubby, keep it slim! Says a new controversial report supporting size zero” thedailymail.co.uk. Mail Online.   21^st April 2011.  
14. Whittaker, Marianne. “The agony of having an anorexic mother” thedailymail.co.uk. Mail Online. 12th May 2011.

Social: 4. The reclaim of self-esteem

It is common knowledge that women in traditional regions face major social disadvantages. The feminine struggle for equality in more developed regions is thought to be comparatively minimal.  However, with the Internet dispensing information at runtime about events happening around the world, we discover that social practices in differing cultures may not be quite so dissimilar.  For instance, the inequality that has existed between women and women in the traditional East now seems to be finding its way into the liberal West.

The SlutWalkers movement was ignited in Canada by a police officer’s implication that women are victimized because they dress like sluts. It has injected new life into a feminism that has appeared politically moribund in the post-feminist era. Social networking now spreads awareness and solidarity across continents, with demonstrations in major cities of the Americas, Europe, Asia, and Australia making clear that these women have had enough.  

They have taken to the streets in thousands against the stereotypes that blame the victims of abuse for the abuse. The placards point out that “little girl clothes don’t make a paedophile” (excuses for rape having included the sound of women’s footfalls on the pavement). Fact is many men rely on tacit social support to help them evade “responsibility for their own urges”.  Their power over others is offset by their lack of individual self-control. 

Other women, wives and mistresses, assist in perpetrating the practice as the price of their social privileges. These women fight tooth and nail to preserve the patriarchal status quo and their chains, admiring how becomingly they sit.  Self-esteem for them then rests on gender-centricity.  Epstein, who confesses she cannot resist flirting with her son’s age-group as well, writes:

I think flirting at my life stage is, inherently, an issue of self-esteem. A way of believing we remain attractive to men in the light of advancing middle age. A way of flagging up the ‘I’ve still got it’ message. … Indeed, I flirt far more than I ever did in my 20s — it’s a celebration of being far more comfortable in my own skin.

The demonstrating women would perhaps beg to differ with the outlook. The cloying dependence on male approval may instead portray an unhealthy self-esteem. Flirtation has been the ‘safe’ social pastime through generations. But beyond social boundaries, women are expected to remain passive receptacles of tradition. They must toe the patriarchal line to gain their privileges.  Men’s social learning over the same generational time has been that women say ‘no’ when they mean ‘yes’ simply to be dominated.

The double standards of society pressure women to attract men, and yet to remain chaste.  Women are expected to please men, but are called sluts should they choose to please themselves. Dependent women tend to readily apply derogation to describe women not quite like them - just as they would sex workers.

Women of talent, mothers who chose education and/or employment over the traditional dependence, are also socially demeaned. For instance, Kate McCann, whose 3-year old daughter Madeleine was abducted during a family vacation, became the target of hate because her lifestyle did not adhere to the social expectations of motherhood.  Her appearance and successful medical practice perhaps confirmed the stereotype that somehow she was to blame for the crime that befell her family.

Jardine reports:

Men and women have accused Kate, a part-time GP, of being a bad mother and worse, while Gerry, her cardiologist husband, has had a relatively easy ride. Her critics may chiefly wish to reassure themselves that such bad luck could never befall them, but their venom suggests a lingering prejudice against working mothers, especially those who dress neatly, express themselves crisply, go to church and jog in order to keep up some semblance of normality amid emotional chaos.

Some authors have viewed the moral policing of young, attractive, and independent women as sexual harassment.  Marcotte believes that the prurient attacks may be politically motivated. She writes:

Every picture of you available becomes the new Zapruder film, examined endlessly for some tiny detail that could be used to claim you're a slattern, a girl gone wild, a despicable flirt who can't be trusted not to sleep with every man who isn't a rightwing blogger. If you recede from the public view in response, you're accused of hiding something. If you face down your accusers, you're accused of being an attention whore.

Others point out the social hypocrisy runs across the board - in public denouncements of ‘deviant behaviour’ that power group members of all fields secretly indulge in.  When the infidelity is exposed, the individual recourse is to seeking public sympathy, professing great love for the wife they betray and family ideals. Even when the evidence proves overwhelming, the ‘stud’ continues to be socially more acceptable than the ‘slut’. All the women in the equation are but pawns in the organized misogyny. 

The SlutWalkers wear their attitudes like second skins. In many cities, groups of men watch in silence as the demonstrations sweep by – some also join in the march.  The objective of these women is to re-claim words that now have debasing connotations attached.  For instance, the keyword ‘slut’ originally denoted a dirty, untidy appearance.  The meaning of a woman of loose character developed from the 1920s onwards. Wescott explains why:

This was just after the end of World War I. Women had gained independence, this might have frightened men because women were encroaching on areas they used to dominate. Women were going out, they were drinking and they were being referred to in a derogatory way.

More than anything else, the present movement perhaps shows up the growing divide between women and women.  Like the hostile mother-in-law/daughter-in-law dyads rampant in traditional regions, there is no sisterhood between the rival groups. Jones holds that there is  a definite difference of class between feminine groups that goes beyond social positions. She writes:

…the brown, over-manicured young women who weren’t on yesterday’s march, who were half a mile away schlepping in and out of Primark and H&M, might as well have been a million miles away. … women who have only been taught to shop till they drop will, if not be raped, put up with low-paid jobs and expectations, domestic abuse, bad relationships, debt.

The SlutWalkers dress outrageously only because it makes them feel good. They are independent beings that ride high on self-esteem, and the power to self-actualize. And yet they retain awareness of their global citizenship, having also marched in protests against the ‘freedom’ wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. 

Jones writes:

The exposed thighs of the London sluts are the only things that unite them and the young women who dress like hookers to visit the nightclubs and shopping malls of Britain. The slut walkers, with their black clothes and gothic make-up, are well educated and fiercely super-confident young women raised by middle-class mothers to expect everything they want from life. They take no prisoners.

Dines and Murphy are however, critical of the new feminist drive to reclaim words. They believe that the social barriers to doing so are insurmountable, and the attempts to break through change-resistant beliefs are ill-advised. They write:

The organisers claim that celebrating the word "slut", and promoting sluttishness in general, will help women achieve full autonomy over their sexuality. … The term slut is so deeply rooted in the patriarchal "madonna/whore" view of women's sexuality that it is beyond redemption. The word is so saturated with the ideology that female sexual energy deserves punishment that trying to change its meaning is a waste of precious feminist resources. ...Women need to find ways to create their own authentic sexuality, outside of male-defined terms like slut.

I should think that gender hostilities add similar connotations to other references to women. Words do not start out with prejudiced attachments but developed them over time. ‘Diva’, for instance, derives from the Italian, meaning  ‘goddess’ or ‘fine lady’ or even ‘prima donna’ opera singers.  In some Western cultures though, the word’s strongest association now seems to be with immoral, scantily clad performers. 

I had the original ‘goddess’ meaning in mind when I chose the pen name The Diva to write under in a regular magazine column.  Some years later, I was surprised to find that more women than men within the organization were affronted by the usage, and hence set about actively opposing its continuance!

In a global forum, what might be the solution? Do women bow to social dominance of connotations in certain cultures, or do they highlight meanings that make the most sense to them, which also work well elsewhere? Are definitions the prerogative of the adherents of organized patriarchy, or do all women have the right to contribute to the development of meaning in language? I ask you!

Fact is there is no guarantee that new words introduced into the vocabulary will indeed remain connotation-free. Any of them can soon become a euphemism to carry forward the same old social meaning. The women might be left running around in circles to find newer words to denote their sexuality that are untouched by prejudice. Thence, reclaiming words seems appropriate.

However, the concerns of the authors also cannot be denied. Dines and Murphy believe that exposing the social myths about women is more important. They caution that:

 … the label [slut] has dire consequences including being blamed for rape, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and self-mutilation.

Indeed, a goal of “promoting sluttishness” could prove counterproductive if the process entails the destruction of entrenched moral values. Women cannot forget their responsibility to future generations. Nor can individual women of closed, collectivistic cultures afford to choose reactance over reason, and thus jeopardize their personal safety.

In Germany, for example, family members quickly ostracize the Turkish Muslim model that sought to liberate from the “slavery of her youth” with a Playboy photo shoot. Accused of shaming the religion selling out to the West, she receives death threats from the men, but no public support from peer women of the community, also for whom perhaps she acted as she did - “very brave or very stupid”. 

Feminism needs to be proactive to make an impact, its focus being the reclaim of self-esteem for all women. Perhaps an assertive approach through the sustained voicing of convictions/dissent through social networks is required to ensure an exponential spread of the message. Women around the world need to believe emphatically that they are capable of the independent thinking necessary to facilitate social change.

References for this post:

1. Bell, Sarah. “Slutwalk London: 'Yes means yes and no means no'” bbc.co.uk. BBC News. 11 June 2011.
2. Denvir, Daniel. “Are we not, like Anthony Weiner, caught in a web of desire?” guardian.co.uk. The Guardian. 10 June 2011. 
3. Dines, Gail, and Murphy, Wendy J. “SlutWalk is not sexual liberation” guardian.co.uk. The Guardian. 8 May 2011. 
4. Epstein, Angela. “Hello handsome, want to hear the confessions of a compulsive flirt-a-holic?” dailymail.co.uk. The Daily Mail. 10th June 2011. 
5. Hall, Allan. “Fanatics fury at Muslim Playgirl” thesun.co.uk. News. The Sun. 27 April 2011. 
6. Jardine, Cassandra. “Kate McCann: Why didn’t they believe her?” telegraph.co.uk World News. The Telegraph. 09 May 2011. 
7. Jones, Liz. “Class is the real problem, sisters - not slutty clothes”  dailymail.co.uk. The Daily Mail. 12th June 2011. 
8. Marcotte, Amanda. “How 'sex scandal' is sexual harassment” guardian.co.uk. The Guardian. 1 June 2011. 
9. Westcott, Kathryn. “Why is the word 'slut' so powerful?” bbc.co.uk. News Magazine.  The BBC. 9 April 2011. 

Social: 3. The use of advantage

Ever since I had gained a moderate amount of fame, I’d had women offering themselves to me. I’m not special; the same thing happens to every man who makes his living in sports, music, television or movies.

So says a love rat – although the term used to derogate an unfaithful husband actually insults the rodent. (The real rat merely follows the inherited code of its species, while cheating is definitely a human characteristic.) Upturns in economic and socio-cultural status appear to bring deceit and dysfunction into relationship equations.

With revelations continually appearing on global social networks, it assumes proportions of an emerging trend in celebrity marriages, especially in the West. Elsewhere, women are yet to be empowered to fight for gender equality.

In truth, the “fame” that biker James (quoted above) basked in was not quite his own achievement, but rather glory reflected off his famous wife. His illicit liaisons made a mockery of their marital union. He writes further:

After all, when you take money out of the equation, what’s the point of being famous besides having your pick of attractive partners? 

 

James is not alone in his proclivities. The Gropegate allegations, and the bombshell of wife and mistress both pregnant at the same time under the same roof reveal the "dark truth" behind the success saga of America's most famous Austrian immigrant. Leigh writes:

… the real Schwarzenegger —  an immoral, arrogantly reckless man with a monstrous  attitude to women and a propensity for having unprotected sex. Schwarzenegger’s rampant womanising has been known to me since 1988, as have his sleazy beginnings in the world of body building, his fondness for sadistic practical jokes, his delight in humiliating women … he often targeted unattractive women because they were more likely to worship him and his muscular physique.

Driven to sexual gratification to prove their own worth, the love rats have few qualms in breaking matrimonial vows, and family values. Men that attain the power of resources tend to assume that being famous puts them beyond the constraints of common social norms. It provides them the licence to unbridled willfulness, reducing the women around them to commodities to be used and abused.

Although gender equality is claimed in the post-feminist era, patriarchal attitudes remain embedded in the social structure. Men count on this organized bias for the tacit understanding that boys will be boys. In France, the cultural view is that affairs of sex are the man’s personal business.  Chrisafis reports:

Nicholas Demorand, editor of the daily Liberation, said his paper would continue to respect politicians' privacy. "It's a democratic principle – hypocritical in some people's eyes, but fundamental ... Ditching this principle would lead to encouraging short-term buzz and trash over quality news."

Despite the faint acknowledgement that “trash” does abound socially, the media defers to power, afraid of being denied access to crucial information. They prefer to focus reporting on more important matters, thus deliberately overlooking the predatory nature of privileged men. 

The French are accused of showing more compassion for Strauss-Kahn than for the alleged victim in the rape case that caused his arrest in New York and also cost him his job as the IMF chief. Some women activists say that had the incident occurred in France, the story may not have surfaced at all.

Politicians strive to grasp the helm of a nation’s leadership and governance. In their speeches, they profess the very highest standards of integrity and ethics, and soundness of judgement. Yet in any country, political heavyweights flouting the same ideals are legion. Their public pronouncements appear to encourage self-control less, and more the assiduous maintenance of a false front.

The wealth and clout of their wives are often pressed into service to defend these public images.  These women, already victims of humiliation, demean themselves further denouncing the charges, perhaps only to preserve the appearance of family in the public spotlight.

The tenacity of investigative journalism has brought to light many of the transgressions over the years. In USA, in the 1980s, Senator Hart had declared his presidential candidature.   Then rumours began to circulate about his philandering on the campaign trail, which he robustly denied.

“Follow me around, I don't care, ” Hart was quoted as saying. “I'm serious. If anybody wants to put a tail on me, go ahead. They'd be very bored. ”

Journalists McGee et al initially had no leads and gave the senator the benefit of doubt. Later they acted on a tip from a woman who said she didn’t want to see another liar elected. Piecing together bits of information about his whereabouts, they discovered his secret hideaway. The journalists conducted round-the-clock surveillance to gather evidence of his feet of clay. In the middle of 1987, they published their scoop. The scandal that broke permanently sank Hart’s presidential aspirations.

A decade after Hart, and, Clinton perjured himself during the trial conducted while he was President.  The crucial evidence of “the dress” eventually demolished his defences, bringing him to the brink of impeachment. One of Clinton’s then harshest critics was Senator Gingrich, a member of the political opposition. The thrice-married Gingrich himself formed relationships with subsequent wives while still married to their predecessor. As a presidential hopeful in 2012 he now admits to have indulged in other flings also.

The men put the most effort into preventing their being outed.  Their advantage of resources and position in the organized hierarchy are used to the hilt to lie, bribe, intimidate, and in the new millennium, to invest in super injunctions to gag their socially unequal mistresses.  

England footballer Giggs had the image of a devoted family man at the time when the sleazy relationships of other players were exposed in the media. His paramour was discreet, and the affair might have remained so too, because she thought they were in love and he genuinely wanted to marry her.

However, his intentions being different, the fear of exposure got to him. He obtained a Court ruling, as he claimed, to forestall possible blackmail.  But in reality, his priority was  self-preservation, as writes Allen:

…to protect his reputation and privacy both personally and professionally. His teammates certainly would not have appreciated the press hovering around the team during workouts. While the legal mandate was in effect it could have helped his team focus and perform well, which gave them a shot at winning the championship. … He was probably also concerned about protecting his sponsorship deal with Reebok and DVD sales for his workout videos.

She was slapped with the order to prevent her ever mentioning him, while no such consideration was accorded her. She could be named and vilified – and indeed it so happened. 

Twitter users, however, refused to be muzzled. On the global platform, many of them were outside the purview of the local Courts.  They took up the challenge to assert rights to freedom of speech in virtual reality. Giggs’ identity was soon splashed across social networks on the Internet.  Hemming, a British parliamentarian then named the player in the House using parliamentary privilege to also bypass the injunction.  He promises that celebrities who have such injunctions face ‘death by a thousand cuts’. 

The drama has sparked power struggles within and between the organized and unorganized social units in UK – the judiciary, the parliament and the global social networks. The social networks have "made the law an ass" and the intrepid tweeters have been threatened legal recourse. Twitter service providers are being pressured to reveal their identities. Parliamentarians insist on their legislative privileges.  Judges, on the other hand, expect laws passed by Parliament to be binding also on its members. 

The question that arises is why, somewhere on their upwardly mobile pathways, men appear to catch the common malady. James gives his reasons for his actions:

Mentally at a loss, desperate for something to make me feel as if I had some freedom, I ran through the list of things I could do to assert my independence. Infidelity, unfortunately, was at the top of the list.

Gringrich explains why in an interview:

There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate…

Excuses for the lack of self-control seek to blame environmental pressures, rather than the individuals concerned. The point is fame and fortune brings into sharp focus the inherent character flaws of the men who so avidly pursue wealth and power. They are motivated by private logic that leads them to believe that thereby - one, they are entitled, and two, they are untouchable.  Perhaps by repeating cheating behaviours they hope to gain a sense of worth, and raise self-esteem enough to convince themselves more than others that they have indeed arrived. 

 References for this post:

1. Allen, Amber. “Imogen Thomas’s Married Lover Finally Exposed – Footballer Ryan Giggs” wakeywakeynews.com.  Wakey Wakey News. com. 12 May 2011.  
2. Bowcott, Owen, and Halliday, Josh. “Twitter users and the courts go to war over footballer’s injunction” guardian.co.uk. The Guardian. 20 May 2011. 
3. Chrisafis, Angelique.“Strauss-Kahn case sparks debate about French media's deference to power” guardian.co.uk. The Guardian. 19 May 2011. 
4. Devlin, Kate. “Giggs sets courts at war with Parliament” heraldscotland.com The Herald. 24 May 2011. 
5. “Gingrich: Working 'too hard' led to affair” upi.com. Newsreport. US News. UPI.com. March. 9, 2011. 
6. James, Jesse. “Tattooed biker Jesse James reveals how fame and his weakness ruined their unlikely love” Newsreport. dailymail.co.uk. Daily Mail. 22nd May 2011. 
7. Leigh, Wendy. “How many more love children are there, Arnie? Schwarzenegger's biographer says the dark truth about the star is still to emerge...” dailymail.co.uk. The Daily Mail. 23rd May 2011. 
8. Linder, Douglas “The Stained Blue Dress that Almost Lost a Presidency” umkc.edu. Famous Trials. Clinton  Trial 1999. Dated 2005. 
9. McGee, Jim; Fiedler, Tom; Savage, James. “THE GARY HART STORY: HOW IT HAPPENED” unc.edu. First published The Miami Herald May 10, 1987.  Reprint undated.